


Where My Demons Hide

by JustAnotherWriter (N1ghtshade)



Series: Advent Calendar Gift Fics [6]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, tag to 1.20
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 22:52:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16880757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/N1ghtshade/pseuds/JustAnotherWriter
Summary: Jack’s been asleep for an hour when he hears a scuffing sound, and then a soft click.A normal person wouldn’t even notice it. But Jack has years of Delta Force, CIA, and Phoenix experience that have him jumping awake to the smallest things. He’s already reaching for the gun on the bedside table when he hears it.A quiet sob.Pretending to be Murdoc took more of a toll on Mac than anyone realized.





	Where My Demons Hide

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blackrose1002](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackrose1002/gifts).



Jack’s been asleep for an hour when he hears a scuffing sound, and then a soft click. 

A normal person wouldn’t even notice it. But Jack has years of Delta Force, CIA, and Phoenix experience that have him jumping awake to the smallest things. He’s already reaching for the gun on the bedside table when he hears it.

A quiet sob.

He doesn’t want to accept the realization that that one sound is familiar enough to tell him who just broke into his apartment. Or rather, who just let themselves in with their own key. It’s Mac, and something is very wrong. Jack knows the kid’s been quiet the past few days, since the whole fake Murdoc thing, but he didn’t know it was this bad.

He opens the bedroom door and calls quietly out into the living room. “Mac?”

There’s more scuffling and when Jack steps out the kid’s hastily rubbing his eyes and uncurling from the fetal position on the couch, wrapped in Jack’s old Navajo blanket. “Jack? I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“You shoulda told me you were comin’ over, I’m liable to shoot ya if you just show up unannounced,” Jack says. He doesn’t want to sound like he’s making light of this, but it’s clear Mac is trying to hide how upset he is. “You want the spare bedroom?” Mac just shakes his head.

“Okay, you know you’re more than welcome to literally crash on my couch, but what the actual heck, man?” Jack sets down his gun and walks over to Mac. 

“No! Stay away from me!” Mac gasps out, throwing out his hands and in the process losing his balance on the couch. He tumbles to the floor in a heap. 

“What the hell is wrong with you, kid?” Jack asks. 

“I’m a monster,” Mac whispers softly.

Jack rocks back onto his heels; the kid couldn’t have shaken him more if he physically punched him.  _ No one says that about him. Not even Mac.  _ “Kid, are you drunk?” He can smell the alcohol from here, doesn’t know how he didn’t notice before. 

“Maybe.” Mac shrugs noncommittally, crawling back onto the couch. “Just wanted to stop thinkin’.”

“You didn’t drive over here, did you?” Mac just shakes his head, and now that he’s no longer on the floor, Jack can see the wet hair, to go with the rain spattering off the windows. “You walked?” The kid nods, curling deeper into his blanket. “Man, I know that brain of yours works real different from the rest of ours, but what the hell?”

“I couldn’t be in the house with Bozer. I can’t be around people.” Mac gasps out. “I could hurt them.” 

“What?”

“I-I couldn’t sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I dreamed of walking into Boze’s room. Snapping his neck in his sleep. It would be so  _ easy, _ Jack,” Mac whispers. “And I don’t want it in my head but now I can’t unsee it.”

“Mac, listen to me, kid, you would never…” Jack starts to walk toward him again.

“Yes I  _ could! _ ” Mac wails. “It’s in my head, so I could! I shouldn’t even be able to think about something like that. What does it mean that I know how to kill him, and that I thought about how to do it?”

Jack sighs.  _ Okay, he made the right choice to come here. _ “Mac. You know what my job was in the Sandbox? Finding the best and easiest ways to kill. When I came home, I couldn’t stop scanning the crowds. Looking for the person out of place. The first time I saw a kid with a backpack on his chest and a baseball cap over his eyes, I reached for my gun. If I’d had it, man, I don’t know what would have happened. Honest to God.” 

“But they’re  _ strangers, _ ” Mac whispers. “Bozer’s my friend.” He gasps harder. “I’m trying not to think about anyone else. About Riley, or Matty, or..or you.”

“Hey, man, you couldn’t kill me if you tried. We all know I can take you in a fight any day.” Jack’s not at all certain that Mac couldn’t kill him, hell, Jack probably wouldn’t even see it coming, but Mac is shaking and scared and drunk off his rocker and Jack just wants to reassure him.

“That’s why I came,” Mac whispers. “I know you’re the only person who could stop me if I snapped.” He sniffs, wiping his nose. “Jack,  _ please, _ promise me, if that ever happens, you’ll shoot me.”

“No way in hell.”

“Jack, please. I need to know I can trust you to kill me.”

“No, Mac, because if that ever happened I’d find a way to fix you.” Jack sits down beside Mac on the couch, ignoring the way the kid flinches away from him, even though it breaks his heart. He reaches out one hand and rests it on Mac’s shoulder, and after a moment of going stiff, Mac turns and leans against Jack. Jack can feel cold rainwater soaking through the wool blanket and his own t-shirt. “Listen, Mac, no matter what, my job is to to protect you. Whether that’s from the psychos running around out there, or that black whirlpool in your own head.” He cards his fingers through the wet hair. “No one could ever make me hurt you. Not even you.”

Mac nods and leans his head against Jack’s shoulder. 

“Okay. I trust you to fix me too.”


End file.
